Liin Miinh Mehy
Liin Miinh Mehy is a Draenei hunter with dreams of becoming a pop idol. Appearance Miinh Mehy is, like most females of her race, a slender, blue skinned space goat. Her horns are slightly more vertical than norm, and a rich ebony colour. Her hair has been bleached a platinum blonde, and is coiled into buns covering each ear. Her mode of dress is best described as scandalous. In a casual setting she wares skin-tight dresses that leave little if anything to the imagination. Her “adventuring” gear is possibly even worse, consisting of thick leather that she gets her good buddy Esthara to customise. These customisations usually result in significantly more cleavage, flat smooth stomach, waist line or thigh showing than is either needed or wise. Usually complimenting this dress is a large, phallic firearm. Although skilled in the more traditional bow weapons, Miinh far prefers, as she says “something longer and stronger!” Combined with the swagger in her hips, and her usual sly grin, the over all impression you might have looking at her is “brainless and beautiful” If you did have that impression, you could be right. Personality Liin Miinh Mehy is not quite as stupid as she looks. In fact when it comes do making cunning traps, snares and similar, she shows a malicious level of cunning that speaks highly of her native intelligence. That said, she is fairly self centered and painfully ignorant of current events. Even for a Draenei, she is uninformed about the alliance, but alt least she wont make the foe par of confusing Highborne, Night Elves and Blood Elves… again. History Early Years Miinh Mehy was born in Telmor, back before things went thoroughly to hell on Draenor. Her family was quite prosperous, even by the standards of the Draenei, owning and running one of the more sucessfull restaurants in the city. Their wealth gave Miinh Mehy the ability to dream large, and at an early age she began singing and dancing lessons with dreams of becoming an entertainer. She also took lessons in acting and animal handling at this time, the better to have a wide range of entertainment talents. She also worked in her parents in the restaurant, waiting tables. As a result of all this, she is light on her feet, and incredibly coordinated, with reflexes capable of keeping food on the plates and out of patrons laps, no matter the circumstances. But as she began to mature, the frequent bum pinches, come ones and other remarks began to take their toll on her, and she grew to despise not so much the restaurant business, but the restaurant PATRONS. She would spend much of each shift considering ways of destroying her customers dining experience, going to far as to carefully misbalance tables and arrange elaborate plots to ensure, that through no apparent fault of hers, particularly obnoxious customers wore a plate of food, spilled their wine, or otherwise made an ass of themselves. Her family eventually worked out what was going on, and arranged for her to join a travelling troupe of performers. They would visit Shattarath city, and then head into Nagrand to share their culture amongst the orcs. The Orcish Invasion Miinh Mehy’s troupe was in Shatrath when Kil’jaden’s invasion hit. Along with the civilians from the town, they fled north into Zangarmarsh hiding out with Valen and the other refugees. During this time her troop was quite important in keeping up the morale of both the military and the civilians, stuck in the swampy murky mess along with Sporelings and Broken. Miinh Mehy developed an increased sense of self importance, paying less attention to the outside world and more to her own desires during this time. When the desperate plan was hatched to reclaim the Exodar form the newly arrived invading blood elves and seek out allies, Valen asked for their assistance in convincing a reluctant population to action. They were instrumental in convincing the population that this was an acceptable solution. To assist, She wrote the song “my boyfriend is a teleporter coordinator”. Smashdown Being non-combatants, Miinh Mehy’s troupe was not directly involved in the fighting to reclaim the Exodar, but were escorted in by heavily armed Draenei warriors. In particular, Miinh Meny was paired up with a shaman in training called Estarah who shared a similar quantity of brainpower and self absorbsion. The troupe snuggled into their stestes pods happily, certain that no matter where they arrived, their positions would be secure. Unfortunately, this was not to be. The sabotaged Exodar broke up over the Azuremist islands of Azaroth, and Miinh Mehy’s pod was the only one of her groups to survive. On awakening, she discovered that not only was there no place for a singer right now, but that she would be expected to work. And not even as a waitress, but as a member of the military. She was fit, healthy and flexible, more so than most of the other survivors, so they gave her a bow and told her she had to become a hunter. To her surprise, Miinh Mehy turned out to be quite good at it. All she had to do was visualise her target as an annoying customer, and her shots flew true to their targets. Inside her first day on the new world, she had met up with Estarah again, and the two of them began a happy working relationship. Estarah could not only control the elements to some degree, but she was a skinner and leatherworker, while Miinh put her kitchen time to good use preparing herbs for alchemical experiments. The two of them found each others skills quite complimentary, and their friendship became even firmer as they confronted the threat to the sill shaken Draenei population, eventually defeating Kil’jaden’s minions and ensuring the safety and prosperity of the refugee population. Onwards and outwards. Having cleaned house, the girls ventured beyond Azuremist, seeking to assist their new allies wherever possible. They fetched up in the human kingdom of Stormwind, where they solved problems both local and general, earning the eternal gratitude of that bunch of hornless pink monkeys in the process. This is also where Miinh first encountered her rivals, the vile level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftains. A progressive metal band popular through Azzaroth, becasue of their willingness to trave, they ensured a pop singer could not get a booking. Having done what they could near Stormwind, they headed back to Kalimdor at the request of the archbishop Benedictus to investigate the scourge’s presence amongst the tribes of primitive Razorfen Quillboar of the barrens. While investigating Razorfen Krawl, Miinh Mehy was drawn to the mighty and powerful Aga’mar boars. She was able to charm a particularly large, angry and very black piggy away from the Quillboar, taming it for her very own pet. She named the pig Klien, after an old friend, long dead in Auchindouin. It was also at this time that they met Rhantanahhn and Napthara Firestarter. The two spacegoats discovered that they got along well with this crazy, hedonistic pair, and were quickly inducted into the Lolcat Brgud. In the sprit of their new notguild, they immediately crashed a trollish wedding in Ratchet, created an unholy stink in ironforge, and left scurrilous graffiti on the walls of the deeprun tram tunnel. Across Azeroth with gun, spear and pig.. Having been banished from Ironforge, with clear instructions to not come back till they’d done something useful, Miinh and Est went to work for the explorers society in Uldaman. Of course, the got lost getting there and went in the back door by mistake. Here they would encounter the Dark Iron Dwarves and their heavy firearms for the first time. Although Esth was more interested in the scales obtainable for the scoprids that infested the area, Miin was infatuated with the large, noisy and oh so destructive dark iron shooters. After a grueling fight, made only slightly easier by the performance enhancing, 100% non addictive guaranteed potions of the alchemist in training, they walked from Uldaman, having achieved their objectives. Est had a pile of Scorpid scales. Miinh had a shiny new gun that shot fire. And they both had a copy of some ancient information that would get the Dwarves to shut up. After all, it’s not the pigs fault if the king slips on the pig poop, is it? Back in Ironforge, the explorer’s league made them aware of the “opportunities” available in distant Tanaris and Azshara. When you get right down to it, the Dwarves they spoke to were probably encouraging them to vanish in the tractless deserts or Naga infested ruins. Instead of being eaten by various hostile Kalimdor wildlife, the pair thrived. They returned, successful, to Ironforge just in time for the annual Brewfest party. With the Behaviour of drunken Dwarves putting the usually obnoxious Spacegoats to shame, they were allowed to remain in the city this time. Eventually, incensed by the continuous attacks of the Dark Iron Dwarves on “the first party where people would listen to me sing in months” Miinh managed to convince fellow lolcats Aishen and Verienher and Esth go into the black rock depths and trash their shit to return the favour. Using a hijacked mole miner, they aimed for the Grim Guzzler, but instead punched in deeper. Far too deep really. The mole miner popped them out into the guts of Black Rock, near the throne room. After wiping the floor with his royal, Blackrocky highness, and wiping the pig slobber off the princess of Ironforge they had almost accidentally “rescued”, they decided to throw a brewfest party in the black rock throne room They propped Emperor Thasrussan’s crown on Klien’s rump, put the pig on the throne, and used his still warm corpse as a kegstand. Rumours suggesting that the Dark Iron attacks on alliance centres in fact intensified after this are completely unprovable. Strathoulch Hanging out as much as they did with Rhane and Napth, Miinh and Esth had also been inducted into the Legion of Shadows. This was an odd grouping, founded by rouges and warlocks, but now more of a social club run by a long suffering Paladin. One of their more recent, enthusiastic members was dead keen to go liberate the city of Stratholme from the undead that inhabit it. They took along several folks from the group. Unfortunately, what no one knew at the time was that one of their guild, a paladin in training, tended to go berserk at the sight of the undead. He piled into the animated corpses of the scourge with unbridled ferocity, drawing the attention of so many brainless hulks that the group was soundly defeated. A battered and bruised pair of goats looked at each other in the aftermath, and decided there and then they were not going back to the Plaguelands. No, that was it. Azaroth was getting to be kinda meh. It was time to go back to Draenor. Momma I’m Commin Home Going back to Draenor was a shock. So much was changed. This was beside most of the planet being missing. So many different sorts of Orcs, all apparently Effin Crazy. Demons still roaming the place. Fel energy seeping into the planets very bones. Toxic, Mutant piggies! But worst, far worst of all to Miinh’s mind, was the rebuilt lower city of Shatrah. Not because the Shat was being rebuilt. Not even because there were Blood Elves there. But because the Freaking level 70 ETC’s were there. Fuck! Travel all the way across planets, only to find herself still overwhelmed by the same fucking band that had killed her chances of a career on Azaroth. Nobody even remembered her name in Draenor any more. She reacted by getting even MORE provocatively dressed, pushing Napthara to assist her in setting up a whole new set of gem encrusted leathers. The might not be any fame left, and precious little fortunes, but at least she looks good enough to kill. And with a gun torn from the pulsating body of a floaty eye demon in the Blood furnace, she can actually kill you dead too. Zombie Crushers With the second great scourge invasion happening, Miinh attempted to get dame and recognition by writing a recruitment song for the Argent Dawn Unfortunately she couldn't figure out how to get into the Argent Dawn's own customised version of the judgement armour till after the main attack was over. So now she's developed quite the hatred for undead too. Arhtus's threat to destroy everything she loves has resulted in one of her safe deposit boxes being crammed FULL of spare mirrors, cosmetics and bacon sandwiches. Fughedaboutit, I quit Miinh rampaged almost randomly over the continent of Northrend. Seemingly unable to stick to any one task for long, she adventured haphazardly till she was caught up in the clusterfuck at wraithgate. The resultant disaster, which she felt was caused by a combination of poor preparation and King "Grunty Mc Gruntypants" of Stormwind being a complete freaking nutter, robbed her of her will to kill. Dispirited, she left northrend, traveling aimlessly through the eastern kingdoms in search of some sort of meaning. Potiongoat Enterprises It was while she was in Ironforge that she met Inggi Ingisdotir, a dwarven paladin and fellow veteran of the wraithgate. Prior to wraithgate Inggi had specialised as a healer, but the horror the new plague had inflicted had shaken her purpose, and refocused her on the martial disciplines. A paladin seeking meaning in battle and a hunter who was sick of killing. They shouldn't have gotten along so well. But the simple fact was, Inggi was back in Ironforge to arrange sales of the various rare herbs she had gathered in northrend. And here was an alchemist at loose ends, wanting to help the Alliance, but no longer convinced the best way to do so was through battle. The pair discussed their individual circumstances over many a pint of strong ale at the Ironforge pub, and came to the conclusion they could work together. Inggi would supply materials, and the use of her small dwelling in Ironforge. Miinh would provide alchemical skill, equipment and talents, and market the resulting potions, flasks and elixers through the Ironforge bazaar. Within weeks of starting operations, Potiongoat brand flasks were some of the hottest selling items in Ironforge. Miinh kept careful track of her competitors, ensuring that she was always undercutting them. In the rare cases where they would have made a loss selling the flasks, Miinh took the day off, shutting the stall and instead singing in the taverns of ironforge. Both Miinh and Inggi take enormous pride in the fact that since they commenced operations, the average price of a flask has plummeted 10 gold pieces, a circumstance that has certainly aided in relieving some of the supply problems that the alliance's northrend campaign has faced. Miinh has taken to the life of a merchant happily, and the fact that she still carries a phallic firearm, a cursed glowing sword, and is accompanied by a large stroppy pig certainly ensures shoplifting is not a problem. Pets Klein Klien is Miinh's favourite pet, a vicious, angry boar, that may or may not be undead. With a smell to match its temper, an appetite rivalling that of small villages, its imposing size (almsot as large as an adult human)and its riveted on to flesh armor plates, you might think Miinh would consider the pig's intimidation value it's greatest attribute. However Miinh considers Klien a great friend, a sweet creature and spends an inordinate amount of time hugging the ugly, stinky slobbering beast. In fact, Klien is rather playful around Miinh, far preferring the lavish spoiling given to her by the erratic Dranai than the life (or unlife) of cruelty inflicted on it by the razormane tribe. Klien is also known as "Mah piggeh" and "A Violent. Psychotic Bacon Sammich" Ze One Ze One is a neatheray. Miinh tamed him because she thought his silver and red carapace was gorgeous, and accessorized with her headband. He is far and away the smartest of Miinh's pets, and the possibility exists that he is actually more intelligent than the hunter herself. He's certainly intelligent enough to have worked out that life in a stable, or getting to fly beside his mistress biting thing and then having the inconvenient chunks of meals that get stuck to his carapace lovingly and tenderly removed beats flapping around zangarmarsh. As a result he is suprisingly loyal, despite being the least used of Miinh's pets. Exicutioner Exi is a ghostly cat. When Miinh heard that these elusive beasts had been spotted in darkshore, she just HAD to go find one. She couldn't find the cats, but she found a lot of small stone statues of them. But when she kicked the fifth of these, out came a ghost kitty to attack her. Bravely ignoring the somehow insubstantial, yet damaging fangs, she tamed the beast, and since has rarely been seen without it. She claims that this is simply to ensure he knows what he needs to, to enable him to hunt in Alterac valley. Certainly the few times she's taken the cat into that perpetual low grade war, it has been brilliantly effective at ambushes, and then gets mangled up horribly by the horde. Stories *Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn Category:Characters Category:Alliance Category:Draenei Category:Hunter Category:Articles by Rantinan Category:Lolcat brgud